Genie in a bottle
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead walk along an island beach when they find a magic lamp with a genie in, so they get one wish each. The brunette says: “I miss my family, I wish I was home again.” With a puff of smoke she disappears.
The redhead wishes for the same. As the blonde stands alone on the beach, she starts crying and says “I wish my friends would come back”
Poof!
Elderly George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr Smith says, “George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?”
George replies, “God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he’s fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (poof!) the light goes on and then (poof!) the light goes off when I’m done.”
“Wow,” comments Dr Smith, “That’s incredible!”
A little later in the day Dr Smith calls George’s wife. “Thelma,” he says, “George is just fine. Physically he’s great. But I had to call because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and (poof!) the light goes on in the bathroom, and then (poof!) the light goes off?”
Thelma exclaims, “That old fool! He’s going to the bathroom in the refrigerator again!”
Satisfaction
A married couple is in a terrible accident where the woman’s face is severely burned. The doctor tells the husband they can’t graft any skin from her body because she is too skinny. So the husband offers to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor feels is suitable will have to come from his buttocks.
The husband and wife agree they will tell no one about where the skin comes from and request the doctor to honour their secret. After all, this is a very delicate matter.
After the surgery is complete, everyone is astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looks more beautiful than she ever was before! All her friends and relatives went on-and-on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she is alone with her husband and she is overcome with emotion at his sacrifice.
She says, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you.”
“My darling,” he replied, “Think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”
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