Weekday Wit

 

A penny for every time

I recently went through US Customs and the officer asked the standard, “Do you have more than $10 000 cash on you?”
I responded: “I wish! Haha!”
Her response: “If I had a penny for everyone who cracked that joke in front of me, I’d have the $10 000 by now.”

 

Gambling nude

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet R20 000 on a single roll of the dice. She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.”

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!” As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed… “YES! YES! I WON, I WON!” She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly
departed…

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?” The other answered, “I don’t know – I thought you were watching.”

 

Three wishes

Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.

 

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