Friday funnies

 

Why Dogs Can’t Use Computers…

– He’s distracted by cats chasing his mouse.
– SIT and STAY were hard enough; CUT and PASTE are out of the question.
– Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work.
– Three words: carpal paw syndrome.
– Involuntary tail wagging is a dead give-away that he’s browsing www.purina.com instead of working.
– The fire hydrant icon is simply too frustrating.
– He can’t help attacking the screen when he hears “You’ve Got Mail”.
– It’s too messy to “mark” every Web site he visits.
– The FETCH command isn’t available on all platforms.
– He can’t stick his head out of Windows.

Must Be From Your Mother
Little Johnny asked his father, “Where did I get my intelligence from?”

His father replied, “It must be from your mother… because I still have mine.”

Math Lesson

Teacher: If I tear a piece of paper into four, what do I get?
Student: Quarters
Teacher: And if I divide it into eight?
Student: Eighths
Teacher: And if I divide it into eight thousand parts?
Student: Confetti.

Extra, Extra!
A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, “Read all about it! Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!”

Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and said, “Hey kid, this is an old paper, where’s the story about the big swindle?”

The newsboy ignored him and went on calling out, “Read all about it! Fifty-one people swindled!”

To read last week’s Friday Funnies, click here

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