Weekday Wit

 

My daddy is a lawyer

Two families were waiting in line at a concession stand, their five-year-old boys start talking. “My name is Josh. What’s yours?” asks the first boy. “Adam,” replies the second. “My daddy is a doctor. Where does your daddy work?” asks Josh. Adam proudly replies, “My daddy is a lawyer.” “Honest?” asks Josh. “No, just the regular kind,” replies Adam.

 

The lawyer and the blonde

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains” I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me R10, and vice-versa.” Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me R10, and if I don’t know the answer that you’ll ask me, I will pay you R500!” Figuring that since she is a blonde, he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde’s attention and figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a R10 and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it’s the blonde’s turn.

She asks the lawyer: “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?” The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Wi-Fi and searches the net. Frustrated, he sends Emails to all his co-workers and friends he knows. All to no avail.

After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her R500. The blonde politely takes the R500 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, so what IS the answer!?” Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer R10, and goes back to sleep.

 

Your wish is my command

Two men are driving through London when they get pulled over by a cop.
The cop walks up and taps on the window with his stick.
The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the officer smacks him in the head with the stick.
The driver asks, “What was that for?”.
The officer answers, “You’re in London son. When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car.”
The driver says, “I’m sorry, Officer, I’m not from around here.”
The officer does a check on the driving license and he’s OK.
He gives the man his license back, walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the officer smacks him on the head with the stick. The passenger asks, “What’d you do that for?”
The officer says, “Just making your wish come true.”
The passenger asks, “Making what wish come true?”
The officer says, “I know that 2km down the road you’re going to say to your friend here, ‘I wish that bugger would’ve tried that with me!”

 

doctor jokes

 

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