Weekday Wit

 

Play on words

Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night? Nurse: No change yet.

 

Life of Riley

A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer enquiringly. The old-timer says, “Look at me. I’m old and worn out. You’d never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women and I ate in all the best restaurants of France.”
The new man asks, “What happened?”
“One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!”

 

Very funny

A local policeman finishes his shift one cold November evening and goes at home with his wife. “You just won’t believe what happened this evening, in all my years on the force I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“Oh dear, what happened?”
“I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks.”
“Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks!! What did you do with them?”
“Oh, that was easy, I charged one and let the other off.”

 

Driving meme 30 April

 

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