Weekday Wit

 

Slow

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

 

Homing beacon

Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!”
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island. An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, “Esther, did we pay our R5 000 for the bond yet?”
“No, sweetheart,” she responds.
Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, “Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?”
“Oh, no! I’m sorry. I forgot to make the transfer,” she says.
“One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to make payments for the Visa and MasterCard this month?” he asks.
“Oh, forgive me, Abie,” begs Esther. “I didn’t do that, either.”
Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years. Esther pulls away and asks him, “What was that for?”
Abe answers, “They’ll find us!”

 

Coffee run

A blonde was recently hired at an office. Her first task is to go out for coffee. Eager to do well her first day on the job, she grabs a large thermos and hurries to a nearby coffee shop.
She holds up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly comes over to take her order.
“Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?” the blonde asks.
The coffee shop worker looks at the thermos, hesitates a few seconds, then finally replies, “Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me.”
“Oh good!” the blonde sighs in relief. “Then give me two black, two with cream.”

 

 

Meme 20 Aug 2019

 

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