Weekday Wit

 

Literal interpretation

Little Bobby’s grandmother takes him to the park on Saturday. It snowed all night and everything is beautiful. His grandmother says, “It looks like an artist painted this. Do you know God painted this just for you?”

Bobby says, “Yes, and He did it left-handed.”

This confuses his grandmother and she asks, “Why do you say that?”

“Well,” says Bobby, “We learnt at Sunday School that Jesus sits on God’s right hand!”

Three doors

An airline captain has a new blonde stewardess onboard. The route they are flying has a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain shows the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot is preparing the crew for the day’s route, he notices the new stewardess is missing. He knows which room she was in at the hotel and calls her up wondering what happened. She answers the phone, crying, and says she can’t get out of her room. “You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asks, “Why not?”
The stewardess replies: “There are only three doors in here,” she sobs, “One is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”

Married life

A young couple gets married and goes on their honeymoon.
When they get back, the bride immediately calls her mother.
“Well,” says her mother, “How was the honeymoon?”
“Oh, mama,” she replies, “The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic…”
Suddenly she burst out crying. “But, mama, as soon as we returned, he started using the most horrible language – things I’d never heard before!
I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You’ve got to take me home… PLEASE MAMA!”
“Sarah, Sarah,” her mother says, “calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?”
“Please don’t make me tell you, mama,” wept the daughter, “I’m so embarrassed they’re just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!”
“Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!”
Still sobbing, the bride says, “Oh, Mama … he used words like: dust, wash, iron, cook…”
“I’ll pick you up in twenty minutes,” says the mother.

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