Weekday Wit

 

Overheard

A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. “I’m okay but I didn’t like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,” he answers.

“What did he say,” asks the nurse.

“Oops!”

 

Letter of Recommendation:

1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
5 finishes given assignments on time. Often, he takes extended
6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
10 classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible.

 

Addendum: Bob was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines.

 

Passing the buck

Just after a very hard landing, the flight attendant comes on the intercom and says, “That was quite a bump and I know what y’all are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault… it was the asphalt!”

 

 

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