Q&A
Q: What is the difference between a musician and a savings bond?
A: A savings bond eventually matures and makes money.
Who’s the problem?
A young Scotsman goes to study at an English university and is living in a residence hall with other students.
After he was there for a month, his mother comes to visit. “How do you find the English students?” she asks.
“They are such noisy people,” he replies. The one on the left keeps banking his head on the wall and the one on the other side screams all night.”
“So,” replies his mother “How do you put up with such noisy neighbours?”
“I ignore them,” the boy says. “I just keep playing my bagpipes.”
A necessity
A physics professor is explaining a complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupts him. “Why do we have to learn this stuff?” the young man blurts.
“To save lives,” the professor responds before continuing his lecture.
A few minutes later the student speaks up again. “So how does physics save lives?”
The professor stares at the student for a long moment. “Physics saves lives,” he says, “Because it keeps the dumb people out of medical school.”
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