Blonde jokes
Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.
Be careful what you say
A husband and wife are shopping at their local store. The husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in their trolley. “What do you think you’re doing?” asks the wife.
“They’re on sale!” he replies.
“Put them back, we can’t afford them.” demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a jar of face cream. “What do you think you’re doing?” asks the husband.
“It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,” replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: “So do 24 cans of beer and it’s half the price.”
On the PA system: “Clean-up needed on aisle 25, we have a husband down.”
A quick getaway
Patient 1: Why did you run away from the operation table?
Patient 2: The nurse was repeatedly saying ‘don’t get nervous,’ ‘don’t be afraid,’ ‘be strong,’ ‘this is a small operation only.’ Things like that.
Patient 1: So what is wrong with that? Why were you so afraid?
Patient 2: She was talking to the surgeon!
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