Misunderstanding As a Russian prepares to cross the Ukrainian border, the border guard asks, “Occupation?” “No,” says the Russian. “Just visiting.” Water to wine A priest is driving along a country road when a trooper pulls him over. He immediately smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and notices an empty wine bottle in the […]
Tick tock Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.” Patient: “What do you mean, 10? Ten what? Months? Weeks?!” Doctor: “Nine.” A barrel of heaven A man comes to Mrs. Smith’s door and says, “There’s been an accident at the brewery. Your husband fell into […]
Unclear instructions The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for long hours. The blacksmith instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer.” The apprentice did just as he was […]
Q&A Question: What is the worst part of office Christmas parties? Answer: Looking for a job the next day. Think carefully Two men are adrift in a lifeboat for days. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, one of the men stumbles across an old lamp. When he touches it, a genie comes forth. This […]