Weekday Wit

Present discussion

December is the month when the kids begin to discuss what to get Dad for Christmas.
Some insist on a shirt.
Others insist on a pair of socks.
The argument always ends in a tie

Take me to dinner tonight

Eighty-year-old Bessie bursts into the recreation room of the retirement home.
She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, “Anyone who can guess what’s in my hand can take me out to dinner tonight!”
A witty, elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, “An elephant?”
Bessie thinks a minute and replies, “Close enough!”

Clearer demands

I got fired from my restaurant job.
Every time my boss told me to toss a salad, I did. Right in the dumpster.
His demands could have been expressed a little more clearly.

Out of breath

While editing announcements for a newspaper, I came across an item promoting a camp for children with asthma.
Aside from all the wonderful activities the kids could enjoy, such as canoeing, swimming, crafts and more, it promised that its lakefront property offered something the kids probably did not expect… breath taking views!

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