Friday funnies

 

Take a few moments to read these jokes and get your weekend kicked off to a good start

 

Highway driving

Reporter interviews a man: “Sir, you’ve lived next to this highway for 20 years, do you feel that it has somehow influenced you?”

The man: “NOOooooo, NOOoooo, NOOooo…”

 

Memory problems

An old man went to the doctor complaining that his wife could barely hear. The doctor suggested a test to find out the extent of the problem. “Stand far behind her and ask her a question, and then slowly move up and see how far away you are when she first responds.”

 

The old man excited to finally be working on a solution for the problem, runs home and sees his wife preparing supper. “Honey” the man asks standing around 20 feet away “What’s for supper?” After receiving no response he tried it again 15 feet away, and again no response. Then again, at 10 feet away and again no response. Finally he was 5 feet away “Honey what’s for supper?”

 

She replies “For the fourth time, it’s lasagna!”

Roadside sales

Police officer to a driver: “OK, driver’s license, vehicle license, first aid kit and warning triangle.”
Driver: “Nah, I’ve already got all that. But how much for that funny Captain’s cap?“

 

Memory problems

A few old couples used to get together to talk about life and to have a good time. One day one of the men, Harry, started talking about this fantastic restaurant he went to the other night with his wife. “Really?” one of the men said, what’s it called?”

 

After thinking for a few seconds the Harry said, “What are those good smelling flowers called again?”

 

“Do you mean a rose?” the first man questioned.

 

“Yes that’s it,” he exclaimed. Looking over at his wife he said, “Rose what’s that restaurant we went to the other night?”

 

To read the last Friday Funnies click here 

It's only fair to share...Share on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on TwitterShare on LinkedIn