Weekday Wit

 

Finally!

One of Jill’s friends is pregnant. And she is really excited. Not for the baby but because she’s one of her skinniest friends.

 

Translating work emails

I have a question                              =             I have 18 questions

I’ll look into it                                     =             I’ve already forgotten about it

I tried my best                                   =             I did the bare minimum

Happy to discuss further               =             Don’t ask me about this again

No worries                                          =             You really messed up this time

Take care                                             =             This is the last you’ll ever hear from me

 

Oh dear

Mary’s collection of vintage kitchen utensils includes one whose intended purpose was always a mystery.

She tells her friend, “It looks like a cross between a metal slotted spoon and a spatula, so I 
use it as both.”

When not in use, it sits prominently displayed in a decorative ceramic utensil caddy in her kitchen. She discovered the mystery of the spoon/spatula recently when she found one in its original packaging at a rummage sale. It’s a pooper-scooper.

 

 

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