Weekday Wit

 

Repentance

After hearing a sermon on lies and deceit, a man writes to SARS, “I can’t sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. Enclosed is a check for R1500. If I still can’t sleep, I’ll send the rest.”

 

What my mom taught me

Logic: “If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can’t go to the store with me.”

Humor: “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

Justice: “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. Then you’ll see what it’s like!”

 

Sale of the year

A salesman talks a man into buying 10 000 personalised pens for his business with the promise that the business owner will be eligible to win a 32-foot yacht.

A born gambler, the businessman agrees. He wins the prize and few weeks after the pens arrive; his prize shows up: a 12-inch plastic yacht with 32 plastic feet glued to the bottom.

 

 

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