The dragon
A homeless man knocks on the door of the St. George and the Dragon Inn. The landlady answers. “Could you give a poor man something to eat?” asks the man.
“No!” yells the woman, slamming the door in his face.
A few minutes later, the homeless man knocks again. “Now what do you want?” the woman asks.
“Could I have a few words with George?”
Honesty is the best policy
An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so she interviews a young lawyer. “Mr. Peterson,” she begins, “would you say you’re honest?”
“Honest?” replies the lawyer. “Let me tell you something about honesty: My father lent me $85,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my first case.
“Impressive,” says the banker. “And what sort of case was that?”
“My father sued me for the money.”
Mine is better than yours
A couple of dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter.
“My dog is so smart,” says the first owner, “that every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around. He tips the kid and then brings the newspaper to me, along with my morning coffee.”
“I know,” says the second dog owner.
“How do you know?”
“My dog told me.”
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