Weekday Wit

 

Knowing your limits

Two guys are out drinking when one of them falls off his bar stool and lies motionless on the floor.
“One thing about Fred,” his buddy says to the bartender. “He knows when to stop.”

 

Bargain hunter

The manager of a jewellery store nabs a shoplifter trying to steal a necklace. “Listen,” the crook says, “You don’t want any trouble, and neither do I. What do you say I just buy the necklace and we forget this ever happened?”
The manager agrees and writes up a sales slip.
“You know,” says the crook, “This is more than I wanted to spend. Got anything less expensive?”

 

Just checking

Snake 1: Are we poisonous?
Snake 2: I don’t know. Why?
Snake 1: I just bit my lip.

 

 

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