Weekday Wit

 

Putt-putt

The police are called to an apartment and find a woman standing over a lifeless man, holding a bent and twisted two-iron. The detective asks, “Is that your husband?”
“Yes,” replies the woman.
“Did you hit him with the golf club?”
“Yes, I did,” sobs the woman.
“How many times did you hit him?” asks the detective.
“I don’t know,” she replies. “Five, six, maybe seven times. Oh look, just put me down for five.”

 

Higher education

Q: How many college students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but he waits until the last minute to cram it in

 

Homonyms

A husband texts his wife on a frosty winter morning:
“Window’s frozen!”
His wife texts back, “Pour lukewarm water over it.”
Five minutes later he replies: “Computer completely messed up now.”

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