Weight loss programme
One friend complains to another, “All my husband and I do any more is fight. I’ve been so upset, I’ve lost 10kg.”
“If it’s that bad, why don’t you just leave him?” asks the other friend.
“I’d like to lose another 7kg first.”
Giving back
Walking along the beach, a man finds a bottle. He rubs it and instantly, a genie appears.
“I’ll grant you three wishes,” the genie says. “There’s just one condition. I’m a lawyer’s genie, so for every wish you make, every lawyer in the world gets the same thing, only double.”
After thinking a moment, the man says, “For my first wish, I would like $10 million.”
“Lawyers will get $20 million,” the genie reminds him.
“What else do you want?”
“I’d love to have a red Porsche,” he says. Instantly, the car appears on the beach.
“What’s your last wish?”
“Well, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney.”
Seeing the positive
People don’t usually compliment Jim on his driving, so he was very pleased this morning when he saw a note on his car that said, “Parking fine.”
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