Get in line
“Well,” snarled a tough old sergeant to a bewildered private. “I suppose after you get discharged from the army, you’ll be waiting for me to die so you can come and spit on my grave.”
“Not me, Sarge!” the private replies. “After I get out of the army, I ain’t never going to stand in line again.”
Missing the point
Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved onto the next street, working furiously all day without a rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn’t understand what they were doing. He asked the hole digger, “I’m impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don’t get it-why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?”
The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, “Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we’re normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick.”
Q&A
Q: What is the upside of an escalator?
A: An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs.

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