Weekday Wit

 

Depends…

A blonde is playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolls the dice and lands on Science & Nature. Her question is, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”

She thinks for a time and then asks, “Is it on or off?”

 

What I meant was…

Dennis is on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in district court when he fires his lawyer and chooses to defend himself.

He was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Dennis was the robber. Dennis jumped up, accused the woman of lying saying, “I should of blown your head off.”

He paused, then quickly added, “If I’d been the one that was there.”

Dennis received a recommended a 30-year sentence.

 

Reverse psychology

An out-of-towner drives his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer comes to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitches Buddy up to the car and yells, “Pull, Nellie, pull!”

Buddy doesn’t move.

Then the farmer hollers, “Pull, Buster, pull!”

Buddy doesn’t respond.

Once more the farmer commands, “Pull, Coco, pull!”

Nothing.

Then the farmer nonchalantly says, “Pull, Buddy, pull!”

And the horse easily drags the car out of the ditch. The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asks the farmer why he calls his horse by the wrong name three times.

The farmer says, “Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thinks he is the only one pulling, he wouldn’t even try!”

 

 

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