It’s normal
A blonde takes a seat on an airplane next to an old man. As she sits down, she plops a one-year-old child on her lap.
When the child begins to cry and fidget, the old man says, “That kid is spoiled isn’t he?”
The blonde mother’s response, “No, not really. They all smell like that.”
Don’t mess with the teacher
A school teacher injures his back and has to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable. On the first day of the term, he finds himself assigned to the toughest students in school.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opens the window as wide as possible and then busies himself with desk work. The classroom becomes a bit unruly and he admonishes them. This happens several times.
While working at his desk, the strong breeze from the window makes his tie flap annoyingly. He keeps rearranging and rearranging the tie as the class raises its level of unruliness.
Finally, becoming disgusted with the wayward tie, he stands up and takes a big stapler off his desk and staples the tie to his chest in several places.
Discipline was not a problem from that day forth.
Moth to a flame
A farmer sits in the kitchen while the mid-wife attends his wife upstairs. Suddenly, the midwife shouts, “Bring the lamp. The baby’s coming!”
He runs upstairs and holds the lamp while his wife gives birth to a girl. Then he heads back to the kitchen. As he gets halfway down the stairs, the midwife shouts, “Bring the lamp back. It’s going to be twins!”
The farmer rushes back in time to hold the lamp while another baby girl is born. Then he heads downstairs again. He is pouring coffee when he hears the midwife shout, “Bring the lamp back. Here comes another!”
“I’m staying put!” the farmer yells back. “I think they’re attracted to the light.”
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