All but naught left
“Oh goodness,” sighs a wife one morning, “I’m convinced my mind is almost completely gone!”
Her husband looks up from the newspaper and comments, “I’m not surprised: You’ve been giving me a piece of it every day for twenty years!”
Outta here
A man scheduled for an appendectomy is running down the hallway in a hospital. A friend stops him and asks, “What’s the matter?”
He says, “My nurse just said, ‘Don’t worry. It’s a simple operation. I’m sure it will be alright.’”
His friend says, “She was just trying to make you feel better. What’s so bad about that?” “The man replied, “She was talking to my doctor.”
EVERYONE freeze
A pair of Michigan robbers enter a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouts, “Nobody move!”
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
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