Doctor’s bill
After submitting to X rays, electrocardiograms and blood tests, an anxious patient waited for the doctor’s opinion.
“Howard,” the physician brgins, “I have good news and bad news.”
“What’s the good news?”
“My son has been accepted to the Harvard School of Medicine.”
“And what’s the bad news?”
“You’re going to pay for it.”
Pardon my French
A distinguished French speaker opens his presentation at a Night Club in town with the following comment.
“Gentlemen, I unfortunately was asked to speak today in English. As a result, the language you will hear will be neither yours nor mine.”
A brave man
A man appears before the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter asks him, “Have you ever done anything of particular merit?”
“Well, I can think of one thing,” the man offers.
“On a trip to the town, I came upon a gang of bikers threatening a young woman. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. So, I picked the biggest, ugliest, most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked over his bike and ripped out his nose ring. Then I told them all to back off or…!
St. Peter is impressed and says, “When did this happen?”
The man responds, “A couple of minutes ago.”
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