Short supply
A man came home from the doctor’s office looking very worried.
His wife asks, “What’s wrong?’
He answers, “The doctor told me I have to take a pill every day for the rest of my life.”
She says, “So what? Lots of people have to take a pill every day their whole lives.”
“I know,” he replies, “But the doctor only gave me five pills.”
Sales hack
A stockbroker dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter says, “I will give you a choice of where you want to spend eternity – in heaven, or in hell. I offer you a chance to sample each place for a couple of days before you make your decision.”
The stockbroker spends the first few days in heaven where everything is peaceful and the people are friendly and polite. Next, he went to hell where the devil answered the door and welcomed him in. He looked around and found he was in a continuous party with gambling, music and liquor. The next few days were the best he ever experienced.
He goes back to heaven and tells St. Peter that heaven is boring, and he decides to spend eternity in hell.
St. Peter wishes him luck and sends him back to hell where once again the devil answers the door. The stockbroker looks around but this time there is no gambling, music or alcohol. Instead, he sees fire and brimstone, torture and despair.
He asks the devil, “What’s going on, why did you lie to me?
The devil responds, “You’re someone to talk. Yesterday you were a prospect. Today you’re a client.”
Below minimum wage
A man owns a farm. The Department of Labour gets a tip that he is not paying legal wages to his employees.
An agent goes to the farm to interview the man and says, “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.”
The farmer says, “I have a ranch hand that I pay R3 000 a week plus room and board. I have a cook that I pay R2 500 a week and she also gets room and board. Then there’s the half-wit that works 18 hours a day. I pay him R200 a week plus chewing tobacco.”
The agent says, I need to talk to the half-wit.”
The farmer replies, “You’re talking to him.”
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