Keep quiet
A man drowning in the river next to a park screams, “Help, I can’t swim! I can’t swim!”
An old man, sitting on a bench next to the river says, “Neither can I, but I’m not hollering about it.”
Selective depression
Patient to doctor: “I’ve lost my will to live – except on weekends.”
More real than you think
A man is explaining his dream to a friend: “I dreamt that all I could eat were marshmallows. I became obsessed with marshmallows. I ate marshmallows until there were no more marshmallows on earth. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.”
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