Miniature strategy
A young married couple takes their six-month old baby to the movies with them. When they enter the theatre they are advised that they will be asked to leave if the baby cries but their money will be refunded.
An hour into the movie the wife asks her husband what he thinks of the movie.
He says, “It’s terrible. Worst movie I’ve ever seen!”
She says, “I agree, pinch the baby.”
Theatrical downgrade
Doctor, you have to help me!” comes a frantic phone call to a psychiatrist, “My husband thinks he’s in the opera. He sings night and day at the top of his lungs and he’s driving me crazy!”
“Send him to me first thing in the morning,” the shrink replies.
A week later, the wife calls again. “I don’t know how you did it,” she says gratefully, “But my husband is barely singing anymore. Did you cure his delusion?”
“Not exactly,” the psychiatrist replies. “I just gave him a much smaller part.”
Business hours
A sign on a bank branch reads, “Nine to five.”
A customer calls the office to ask why they are not adhering to the indicated hours on the sign.
The clerk on the other end of the phone informs the caller, “Nine to five refers to the odds that we will be open on any particular day.”
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