Snail’s pace
When a snail files an assault charge against two tortoises, a detective is sent to question the victim.
“Please describe the incident,” the cop says.
“I can’t,” the snail replies. “It all happens so fast.”
Chocoholic
During Easter week, a woman proudly announces a personal victory at her Weight-Watchers meeting.
She says, “This is the first year my kids realised that chocolate Easter bunnies come with ears.”
Perfect Match
A man describing one of his unpopular neighbours says, “They are in the iron and steel business. She irons and he steals.”
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