Refund
“Is it proper for a man to profit from the mistakes of another?” a parishioner asks his minister.
“Definitely not,” says the preacher.
“Are you absolutely certain?”
“Yes, my son, absolutely.”
“Okay. In that case, I wonder if you’d mind returning that R500 I gave you after my wedding last year?”
Not seeing the obvious
A blonde is driving down the road. She notices she is low on petrol, so she stops at the petrol station. While she waits for the petrol attendant, she notices she has locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, the blonde asks the attendant for a coat hanger so she can attempt to open the door herself.
She goes outside and begins to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant goes outside to see how the blonde is faring. The blonde outside of the car is moving the hanger around and around.
Meanwhile, the blonde inside of the car is saying, “A little more to the left. A little more to the right …”
Better of the two
A family is driving in their car on a holiday. A frog crosses the road and the husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out and takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road. Frog is grateful, thanks the man, and tells him he will grant him a wish. Man says: Please make my dog win the next dog race.
Frog asks to look at the dog which jumps out of the car. The frog notices the dog only has three legs and tells the man that he thinks it is almost impossible to fulfill his wish and asks that the man make another wish.
The man says: “Well, then please help that my wife will win the next beauty contest in the area.
Frog asks him to tell his wife to get out of the car. Wife comes out of the car and approaches the frog.
The frog turns to the man and says: “Could I please have another look at the dog???”
Pre-authorisation
Three nurses go to heaven and are awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the pearly gates. The first nurse says, “I worked in an emergency room. We tried our best to help patients, but occasionally we did lose one. I think I deserve to go to heaven.” St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.
The second nurse says, “I worked in an operating room. It’s a very high stress environment and we do our best. Sometimes the patients are too sick and we lose them, but overall we try very hard.” St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.
The third nurse says, “I was a case manager for a medical aid.”
St. Peter looks at her file. He pulls out a calculator and starts punching away at it furiously, constantly going back to the nurse’s file. After a few minutes St. Peter looks up, smiles, and says, “Congratulations! You’ve been admitted to heaven … for five days!”
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