An accomplishment
Three rednecks are celebrating in a bar.
They order a round of drinks and toast “59 days!” with a great deal of gusto.
After they do this several times, the bartender asks why they are celebrating. One of the rednecks says, “It only took the three of us 59 days to work this puzzle.”
The bartender says, “That doesn’t sound like much of an accomplishment to me.”
Then one redneck says, “The heck it isn’t. On the box it says 3 to 5 years.”
Middle age benefits
The ones who usually manage to get the most out of middle age are the grandchildren.
Sick leave
Two blonde girls are working for the city. One digs a hole and the other follows behind and fills the hole in. They work up one side of the street, then down the other, then move onto the next street, working furiously all day without a rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.
An onlooker is amazed at their hard work but can’t understand what they are doing. So, he asks the hole digger, “I’m impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don’t get it-why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?”
The hole digger wipes her brow and sighs, “Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we’re normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick.”
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