Who is that?
A man is sitting at a bar and hears someone says, “That’s a nice tie you are wearing.”
He looks around and doesn’t see anyone. A minute or so later he hears, “That’s a very attractive suit you have own today.”
He looks around again, but no one is there.
So, he asks the bartender, “What is going on?”
The bartender says, “Oh it just the peanuts, they’re complimentary”
You’ve got mail
One Saturday afternoon a man is cutting his grass when he noticed his attractive blonde neighbour come out of her house, walk to her curb side mailbox, open it, abruptly close it and quickly walk back into her house.
A while later he’s still cutting grass, and he sees her again walk out of her house. She goes over to the mailbox; opens it and again time she slams it shut and storms back into the house.
Having finished cutting the grass and now trimming the hedges, he sees her once again come out of her house and head for the mailbox. She opens it, then really slams it shut almost knocking the box off the post.
This time he walks over to her and asks, “I don’t mean to pry, but why do you keep checking your mailbox and each time become so upset?”
She replies, “Oh my darn computer must be malfunctioning. It keeps telling me that I have mail, but when I check, my mailbox is empty.”
Trick question
Two guys are taking chemistry at the University. They are so confident going into the final that two days before, they decided to go to a neighbouring University and party with some friends. They had a great time.
However, they overslept and didn’t make it back until the morning of the exam. Rather than take the final, they found their professor afterward to explain why they missed the final.
They told him that they went up to the nearby University for the weekend and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tyre on the way back, and didn’t have a spare, and couldn’t get help for a long time, so they were late in getting back to campus.
The professor thinks this over and tells them they can make up the final the following day.
The two guys were relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day for the final.
The professor places them in separate rooms, and hands each of them a test booklet and tells them to begin. They look at the first problem, which is worth 5 marks. It is something simple.
“Cool,” they think, “This is going to be easy.”
They complete that problem and then turn the page. Question 2 says: “Which tyre?” (95 marks).
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