Employee evaluation
A supervisor’s comment on an employee evaluation. He’s never been very successful. When opportunity knocks, he complains about the noise.
The pencil behind
Two fellows are working at a sawmill when the first fellow goes too close to the saw and cuts his ear off. His ear falls into the sawdust pit, and the fellow is down there trying to find it.
The other fellow says, “What are you doing down there?”
The first fellow says, “I cut my ear off, and I’m a-looking for it.”
The other fellow jumps in the pit and says “I’ll help you.”
He goes down on his hands and knees and begins looking around.
Then he calls out, “Here it is, I found it!”
The first fellow takes it and says, “Keep a-looking, mine had a pencil behind it!”
Latecomer
A man comes in late for work one day for the second time in the same week.
His boss calls him into her office and says, “What’s your excuse this time?”
He shrugs and says “My clock didn’t go off and I overslept.”
She replies, “You could at least tell me something I haven’t heard before.”
He replies, “You are looking lovely today.”
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