Not waiting in line
“Well,” snarls the tough old sergeant to the bewildered private.
“I suppose after you get discharged from the army you’ll be waiting for me to die so you can come and spit on my grave.”
‘’Not me, Sarge!” the private replies.
“After I get out of the army, I ain’t never going to stand in line again.”
Hard work pays
An executive picks up one of his employees in a new sports car.
“This is an amazing automobile,” the employee remarks.
“It is nice”, the executive replies, “And if you set your goals high and work harder, I can get an even better one next quarter.”
Not so brave
The captain of a tall wooden war ship in the 1800s has a special routine when an enemy ship is spotted on the horizon. The captain always says to the ensign, “Get me my red shirt.”
On all of these occasions the ship fends off the enemy ship. One night the ensign asks the captain why he always asks for his red shirt.
The captain replies, “If I am wounded in battle, the blood will not show, and the men will continue to fight.”
The ensign is impressed that the ship had such a brave captain. The next morning the lookout shouts, “Ten enemy ships on the horizon.”
The captain says to the ensign, “Get me my brown pants.”
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