Just keep swimming
While sports fishing in Florida, a tourist capsizes his boat. He can swim, but his fear of alligators keeps him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouts, “Are there any gators around here?!”
“No” the man shouts back, “We have not had any around for years!”
Feeling safe, the tourist starts swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asks the guy, “How did you get rid of the gators?”
“We didn’t do anything,” the beachcomber says, “The sharks ate them.”
Witty boss
The boss always schedules a weekly staff meeting at four-thirty on Friday afternoons.
When an employee gets the nerve to ask why, the boss explains, “I’ve found that late Friday afternoon is the only time none of you want to argue with me.”
Speak now or…
A husband sits in the living room with his hand on the remote, “Hey honey,” he shouts to his wife in the kitchen. “Is there anything you want to say before football season starts?”
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