How full is the glass
To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Delayed reaction
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Get the most out of life
The ones who usually manage to get the most out of middle age are the grandchildren.
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