Lines from job evaluations
- A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
- Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.
- Takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.
- Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
- Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
They almost made it!
Three guys are trying to sneak into the Olympic Village to scoop souvenirs and autographs.
The first says, “Let’s watch the registration table to see if there’s a crack in the security system that we can use to scam our way in.”
Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and states, “Angus MacPherson. Scotland. Shotput.”
He opens his gym bag to display a shotput to the registration attendant.
The attendant says, “Very good, Mr. MacPherson. Here is your packet of registration materials,
complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic events, meal tickets, and other information.”
The first guy grabs a small tree sapling, strips off the limbs and roots, walks up the registration table and states “Chuck Wagon. Canada. Javelin.”
The attendant says, “Very good, Mr. Wagon. Here is you packet of registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth. Good luck!”
The second guy grabs a street utility manhole cover, walks up the registration table and states: “Dusty Rhodes. Australia. Discus.”
The attendant says, “Terrific, Mr. Rhodes. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, a full set of passes, and meal tickets. Enjoy yourself.”
They scamper in but suddenly realise the third guy is missing.
They groan,’’Oh no. He’s a simpleton from the hills of Vermont’’.
They forgot to make sure he doesn’t do something stupid and blow their cover stories. They spot him walking with a roll of barbed wire under his arm. He walks up the registration table and states: “Foster Bean. Hardwick, Vermont. Fencing.”
A small request
A young woman’s prayer: “Dear Lord, I’m not asking anything for myself. I just want you to send my parents a son-in-law.”
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