A forced letter
A mother is worried because she has not heard from her son who is in boarding school for several weeks.
Eventually she receives the following letter: “Dear Mother: They are making us write to our parents. Love Jack.”
A real fanatic
A man stranded on a desert island cannot believe his eyes when a beautiful woman in scuba gear appears on the shore. She smiles and says, “I’ll bet you could use a cigarette.”
Unzipping the sleeve of her wet suit, she pulls one out and hands it to him. She continues, “I’ll bet you haven’t had a nice, cold drink in a long time.”
Unzipping the leg of her wet suit, she pulls out a drink and gives it to the grateful man. When he finishes the beer, the woman says sympathetically, “I’ll bet it’s been a long time since you’ve had some real fun.”
“You mean,” the man gasps, “You’ve got golf clubs in there?”
Return ticket
A blonde is at an airport ticket counter and asks to buy a return ticket.
The ticket agent says, “Where to?”
The blonde rolls her eyes and says, “Duuuh, back here.”
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