The power
Three umpires are asked how they distinguish between ball and strikes.
The first one says, “Well some pitches are balls and some are strikes. I call them as I see them.”
The second answers, “Some are balls and some are strikes. I call them as they are.”
The third ump replies, “Some are balls and some are strikes, but they ain’t. nothing till I call them!”
Kids say
If an athlete gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?
‘’Mistle toe,’’ Alexa replies.
The perfect son
Joe: I have a perfect son.
Glen: Does he smoke?
Joe: No, he does not.
Glen: Does he drink whiskey?
Joe: No, he does not.
Glen: Does he ever come home late?
Joe: No, he does not.
Glen: I guess you really do have a perfect son. How old is he?
Joe: He will be six months old tomorrow.
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