The diagnosis
A man goes to the doctor and says, “I think I’m addicted to Twitter.”
The doctor replies, “I’m sorry, I don’t follow you.”
Good news, bad news
A wife says to her husband, “I have good news and bad news.”
The husband says, “Give me the good news first.”
“The airbag works,” she says.
The will
A lawyer reading a man’s will to his family says, “To my loving wife, Rose, who always said I never thought of her — hello, Rose.”
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