Marriage
Wife: Look at that drunk guy.
Husband: Who is he?
Wife: 10 years ago he proposed to me and I rejected him.
Husband: Oh, my word, he is still celebrating.
Read the room
A teacher asks her class, “If you had twelve chocolates and I asked for four, how many would you have left?”
Little Jamie puts his hand up immediately.
“Twelve,” he says. “Because I wouldn’t give them to you.”
Dad jokes
Dad: Son did you hear about the guy who cut off the left side of his body?
Son: Dad please stop.
Dad: He’s all right now!
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