Weekday Wit

 

A unique strategy

A dentist completes his work on a patient and says, “Can you help me? Can you give a few of your loudest, most painful screams?” The patient asks, “Why Doctor? It wasn’t that bad this time.” The dentist replies, “There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don’t want to miss the four o’clock ball game.”

 

Semantics

Everyone is seated around the table as food is being served. When little Logan receives his plate, he starts eating right away.
“Logan, wait until we say our prayers,” his mother reminds him.
“I don’t have to,” the little boy replies.
“Of course, you do,” his mother insists, “We say a prayer before eating at our house.”
“That’s at our house,” Logan explains, “But this is Grandma’s house and she knows how to cook.”

 

A way with words

A blonde is sitting on a plane in first class with an economy class ticket. The flight attendant asks to check her ticket.
“Excuse me” she says “You only have an economy class ticket but you are sitting in first class. Can you please move to your allocated seat?”
The blonde was very stubborn and says “I’m blonde and beautiful and I’m going to New York.”
So the flight attendant goes to another flight attendant and tells her the problem. The blonde’s answer is the same.
“I’m blonde and beautiful and I’m going to New York.”
This went on through four other flight attendants.
Finally, they go to the captain and tell him the problem.
He says “I can handle this,” and goes to talk to her.
He whispers something in her ear and she gets up and runs to economy class.
All the flight attendants are shocked and they asked him how he did it.
He says “I told her first class wasn’t going to New York.”

 

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