Weekday Wit

 

Competition

An American, Frenchman and Italian are arguing about the best car. The American says: “We invented the Ford, you press a button and the car roof opens.” The French says: “We invented the Renault, you press a button and the boot opens.” Then the Italian says: We invented the Fiat, you kick it and it all opens!”

 

Read slowly

A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. They add up their life savings into a total of $200.
Then, the blonde decides to purchase a bull with it. The brunette agrees, and so the brunette leaves to find the perfect bull. When she does she must telegram the blonde and tell her to come get it.
Finally, the brunette finds the bull of her dreams. The farmer says he wants $200 for it. The brunette, thinking she can get a better deal, says no to his offer.
The farmer says, “Alright then, I’ll give you a great deal, how about $199.00?”
The brunette accepts and buys the bull. She has $1.00 left for the telegram. The telegram guy says, “It’s $1.00 per word.” The brunette thinks about this and says, “Comfortable, write that.”
“Comfortable?” the guy questions.
“Yes, you see she reads slowly.”

 

Oops

A woman is in a horrible car accident and is left in a coma. She sees Jesus while she is in the coma and begs him, ” PLEASE LET ME LIVE!”
Jesus says “Okay you have 2 more years to live.”

Now, knowing that she only had two years to live she had a makeover. She changed her hair, had a tummy tuck, a facial lift, bought new clothes, and had many other changes. Two weeks later she is hit by a bus and killed. She sees Jesus again and says “I THOUGHT I HAD 2 MORE YEARS?!?!?!”, and Jesus says “Oh I’m sorry I didn’t recognise you.”

 

Driving meme 25 June

 

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