Not that light

Father: Son, please check if the headlights are on.
Son: No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes..

Poisonous mushrooms or else

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.
“How wonderful! But I hope you don’t mind me asking what happened to your first husband?”
“He ate poisonous mushrooms and died.”
“Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?”
“He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died.”
“Oh, how terrible! I’m almost afraid to ask you about your third husband.”
“He died of a broken neck.”
“A broken neck?”
“He wouldn’t eat the mushrooms.”

Deserted island

Melissa, Sarah and Lily are stranded on a desert island. There is no food at all and they are all starving. Then they find a bowl of macaroni. None of them want to share it and wonder how to decide who keeps it. They decide whoever has the best dream will win the macaroni. The next day Melissa says she dreamed she was rich. Sarah says that she dreamed she was richer than Melissa. Lily says she didn’t have a dream but wrote a poem: “Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony. While you guys were all asleep I ate the damn macaroni!”

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