Weekday Wit

 

Choices

After a lengthy delay for plane repairs, the passengers are impatient but quit complaining when the pilot says: “Look at it this way: wouldn’t you rather be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here?

 

Modest math

Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy’s wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.
After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the ‘miracle’ products, she asks her husband: “Darling, honestly, if you didn’t know me, what age would you say I am?”
Looking over her carefully, Andy replies, “Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen and your figure, twenty five.”
“Oh, you flatterer!” she gushes but he stops her by saying…
“WHOA, hold on there sweetie!” Andy interrupts.
“I haven’t added them up yet!”

 

What’s the difference?

The French existentialist, Jean-Paul Sartre, is sitting in a cafe when a waitress approaches him: “Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?”
Sartre replies, “Yes, I’d like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream.”
Nodding agreement, the waitress walks off to fill the order and Sartre returns to working. A few minutes later, however, the waitress returns and says, “I’m sorry, Monsieur Sartre, we are all out of cream – how about with no milk?”

 

3 Sept 2019

 

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