Weekday Wit

 

Out the mouths of kids

When Suzy gets home, she tells her dad that she got a 100 in school. Her dad tells her to sit down and tell him all about it. She says: “Well, I got a 20 in math, a 30 in science, and a 50 in spelling!”

Bad choice

On the last day of preschool, the children bring presents for their teacher.
The florist’s son gives her a box. She holds it up and says, “I bet I know what it is. Is it flowers?”
“That’s right!” says the boy.
Then the candy store owner’s son gives her his package. She shakes it, held it up and says, “I bet I know what it is. Is it a box of candy?”
“That’s right!” says the boy.
Next the liquor store owner’s son hands her his box.
She shook it, held it up and notices it is leaking. She touches a drop with her finger and tastes it. “I bet I know what it is. Is it wine?”
“No,” says the boy.
She touches another drop to her tongue. “Is it Champagne?”
“No,” says the boy.
“I give up. What is it?”
The boy grins. “A puppy!”

Top inventions by a blonde

1.The water proof towel
2. A book on how to read
3. Inflatable dart board
4. A dictionary index
5. Powdered water
6. Pedal powered wheelchair
7. Water proof tea bags

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