Unexpected charges
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid him on the table the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment the vet shook his head and sadly says: “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”
The distressed woman wails: “Are you sure?”
“Yes I am sure, the duck is dead,” replies the vet.
“How can you be so sure?” she protests, “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”
The vet turns around and leaves the room, returning with a labrador retriever. As the duck’s owner looks on in amazement, the dog stands on his hind legs, puts his front paws on the exam table and sniffs the duck from top to bottom. He then looks at the vet with sad eyes and shakes his head. The vet pats the dog on his head and takes him out the room, returning with a cat. The cat jumps on the table and also delicately sniffs the duff from head to foot. The cat sits back on its haunches, meows sadly and strolls out the room.
The vet looks at the woman, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this duck is definitely 100% certifiably dead.”
The vet turns to his computer hits a few keys and produces a bill of R300 which he hands to the woman. The duck’s owner says in shock, “R300? R300 to tell me my duck is dead?”
“I’m sorry, if you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been R100 but with the Lab Report and the CAT scan, it’s now R300”
Three rings
After you get married you get three rings. The first one is the engagement ring, second is the marriage ring, and the third one is … suffering!!!
Choices
A man is on a flight when the air hostess asks him, “Excuse me sir, would you like to have dinner?”
The man answers, “What are the options?”
She replied, “Yes and No.”
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