3 wishes
A State Government Employee is rifling through an old filing cabinet when he comes across an old brass lamp. “This will look nice on my mantelpiece,” he thinks. While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes.
“I wish for an ice-cold Pepsi right now!”
POOF! A Pepsi appears before him on his desk, so he picks it up and guzzles it all at once.
Then he states his second wish. “I wish to be on a tropical island.”
POOF! Suddenly he is on an island.
He then says his last wish: “I wish I’d never have to work ever again.”
POOF! He’s back in his government office.
Strategy
The local news station is interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she just married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation.
“He’s a funeral director,” she answers.
“Interesting,” the newsman thinks. He then asks her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.
She pauses for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile comes to her face and she answers proudly, explaining that she first married a banker when she was in her 20’s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40’s, and a preacher when in her 60’s, and now – in her 80’s – a funeral director.
The interviewer looks at her, quite astonished, and asks why she married four men with such diverse careers. She smiles and explains, “I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.”
You’re the problem
When an unpopular President completes his presidency, he wants a special postage stamp issued with his picture on it. He stresses that it should be of international quality. The stamps are duly released and the former President is pleased.
But within a couple of days of release of the stamp, he begins hearing complaints that the stamp is not sticking properly, and he is furious.
He orders an investigation into the matter. The investigator checks the problem out at several post offices, and then reports to the former President. The results reveal that there is nothing wrong with the quality of the stamp. The problem is that people are spitting on the wrong side.
Read more Weekday Wit