Animal farm
A man is driving down a road. A woman is driving down the same road from the opposite direction. As they pass each other, the woman leans out the window and yells “PIG!!”
The man immediately leans out his window and yells, “COW!!”
They each continue on their way and as the man rounds the next curve, he crashes into a huge pig in the middle of the road.
MORAL OF THE STORY: If only men would listen.
Oops…
A couple is in the Watergate Hotel in Washington. The bride is concerned the room is bugged. The husband says, “I’ll look for a bug.”
He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug. “A-HA!”
Under the rug is a disc with four screws. He gets his Swiss army knife, unscrews the screws, and throws them and the disc out the window.
The next morning, the hotel manager asks, “How was your room? How was the service? How was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?”
The husband says, “Why are you asking me all of these questions?”
The hotel manager says, “Well, the room under you complained of the chandelier falling on them!”
What?!
“Jane, if I died, would you marry again?” A husband asks.
“Yes,” answers the wife.
“And would you let him into my house?”
“Sure.”
“Would he use my golf clubs?”
“Nope.”
“Really? Why not?”
“Because he’s left-handed.”
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