The secret of nature
“You’re in incredibly fine condition,” a doctor concludes after finishing a thorough physical, “How old did you say you were, sir?”
“Seventy-eight.”
“Seventy-eight! Why, you have the health of a sixty-year-old. What’s your secret?”
“I guess, Doc, it’s due to a pact the wife and I made when we got married. She promised that if she was ever about to lose her temper, she’d stay in the kitchen ’till she cooled off. And I pledged that when I got angry I’d keep quiet, too, and go outside until I calmed down.”
“I don’t understand,” says the doctor, “How could that help you stay so fit?”
“Well,” the patient explains, “I guess you could say I’ve lived an outdoor life.”
A magical diagnosis
A man went to a doctor and complains, “When I woke up this morning I put on a pair of white gloves and called my wife Minnie. On the way to work I couldn’t help singing, ‘Hi ho off to work I go’. And at the office I called my boss Grumpy. What’s the matter with me doctor?”
The doctor thinks for a minute and says, “I believe you’re having Disney spells.”
Guinea pig
A man walked up to two patrol officers showing their squad car computer felon-location equipment to children in a Detroit neighbourhood.
When he asks how the system works, the officer asks him for identification.
The man gives them his driver’s license, they enter it into the computer, and moments later they arrested him because the screen shows he is wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery.
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