Co-conspirator
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna calls her friend. “Mary,” she wails, “John and I had a DREADFUL fight!”
“Calm down, my child,” says Mary, “It’s not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!”
“I know, I know!” says Joanna. “But what am I going to do with the BODY?”
Man of the house
A new group of males arrive in heaven. Peter looks them over and orders, “All men who were henpecked on earth, please step to the left, all those who were bosses in their own homes, step to the right.”
A line quickly forms on the left. Only one man steps to the right.
Peter looks at the frail little man standing by himself and enquires, “What makes you think you belong on that side?”
Without hesitation, the meek little man explains, “Because this is where my wife told me to stand.”
Don’t mock me
A man goes to his doctor and complains, “Doc, can you help me? Every time I drive by the park, I start singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.’ Every time I see a kitten, I sing ‘What’s new pussycat?’ What’s wrong with me?”
The doctor replies, “It sounds like you have a case of Tom Jones syndrome.”
The man says, “Is that common?”
The doctor sang, “It’s not unusual.”
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